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The thing is i can't deny how everything feels so different now. i don't feel like you really want to be with me already? and i'm afraid you're just pitying me. just feeling bad towards me.

I hate it that i'm so suspecting but it 's like if i dont ask, i don't put the thought into my head, and if you tell me subsequently, i will be more upset.

I've spent so many hours and days debating with you about how this should go about. I'm tired already. I can give in as much as maybe even stay there and give you 101% no matter how you treat me but i feel like i should not. I feel like i need to give you the space.

I thought maybe i should not be so stubbornly persistent on this matter. I feel myself being overly persistent and stubborn and chasing for answers that i'l never get. Its too suffering. Let you do what you want. Let you take whatever time you think you might need, to find out what you really want. But i also know the chance of you inclining towards him eventually is too high.

My time is already over.
So i'm ready for the day you tell me you don't feel anything for me anymore.
Then i'll back down. And then i'll think. Why the fuck am i so stupid/unlucky.
Haha.

but if that happens it just means you never really loved me before.
so what...
right.

"ok.. so please tell me, what is tom.
will it change the meaning of being myself, Pie?
i still like to play game, like to cook roasted chicken, and everything is the same.
what about other elements of mine?
Will anyone see them?
Other than 'you are tom'."

"kim. kim. what are you afraid of?
true love not lose 'dis tom."

i can watch Yes or No a million times.
Its the only place i can indulge my dreams on...
:(