o2o81o

soe was fun.
maybe even more.

maybe damn fun,
because recce was like on holiday.
relaxed, and just munching.

but like all human beings,
i ask myself,
day after day,
why couldn't i have looked out,
perhaps being a little more careful?

there are people who care,
but there's no point grunting at all to anyone because even the doctors are unable to do anything.

But i am upset,
definitely.
Upon first impact, all i could think of was how i was unable to be playing sports anymore.
can't do basketball anymore?
Upon second thought, shit, how am i going to carry on SOE for the next two days?
Further thoughts led to how i would be unable to drive, and the most terrible of all,
how do i report to school like this?
Would i recover?
Would i have to change course?
I always treasured and valued my course alot, because it was not the least bit easy for me to have gotten it. Not at all.

I know that now im complaining,
im asking myself a million times a day,
when would i be able to walk?
when would i be able to drive?
it sucks to have to rely on using crutches,
it sucks to be limping around at home,
it sucks to be so reliant.
it sucks to not be able to drive Dearest around,
it sucks not knowing when can i go back for IVP training.

And when i do walk, hopefully soon,
When would i be able to run?
Its greedy, but sports was such a major portion of my life.
this is a long term impact and its just upsetting knowing that i could've prevented all these.
Its making me very short-tempered and im just losing control over everything.

Life turns upside down for me who has just lost the use of my ankle.
but im sure if you have a kid who doesnt treasure his life,
make him walk on crutches for a week and he'l know whats good.

i just want to get well soon.
although i know well would definitely not be perfect,
im scared.

Im scared of hearing that im not able to run anymore,
not being able to jump anymore.

But just for now,
Walking would be such a miracle.

God i'v learnt my lesson,
could i have my leg back?