19o3o8

i dont know why but these thoughts flew in when i was (tryingto) study in school today.
when i saw the j1s coming down for break.
there was a replay, of one of my best moments,

took the bus.
changed to mrt.
got off.
crossed the road.
usually at this point of time i wld find someone to dstrb early in the morning :)
"HELLLoo WHY IS ur face like that!"
jaywalked sometimes.
walked in.
no hesitation needed. just walk straight. to the end of the canteen, beside the sink.
"hello GOOD MORNING!"
smiles return.
if it was mugger day, complaints start coming in.
if it wasn't, random crap comes in.
"yesterday there was this old man in the train .."
bell rings.
lazily grab our bags and strollllllllllllllll (to emphasize the drag) to the parade ground.
"good morning presyterian high school!"
"good morning."
"INDEED ITS A GOOD MORNING!"
lessons start.
eve and me take our seats.
another day of stoning/talking/sleeping starts
"EVE AND ANET, DO YOUR UNDERSTAND?"
we both nod. but what the teachers will never be able to find out is that we have been staring into blank space for the past few hours. (so it's never a good sign even if our heads aren't down on our hands)
the minutes crawl.
and recess is here.
shimin and wenqi stand outside 4joy (God knows why they always finish earlier than us)
we gather.
big loud noises with our voices because by then we wld have someoneS to talk abt, no matter teacher, or the random people in sch.
we can always squeeze into 1 1/2 tables in the canteen.
sometimes 1 is enough because we have ppl who are sick (mostly just SICK of sch or sick of walking up at the right time)
cheyenne and me peek at everyone's plates. (we already know who are the few that never ever finish up their food)
eve complains WO YAO CHI JI DAN.
laksa eaters try desperately to ensure the curry doesnt draw on their uniforms.
remainder food is split between cheyenne and me.
"XIAOMEI CHI BU WAN QU SHOU PAN!" fiona returns the plates because she finishes last! haha!
shimin asks NICELY, "yao bu hao he shui?" (as an indication of SOMEONE SHOULD TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO GO BUY DRINKS! LOL XIAOLU I KNOWWWWW!)
i stand up, collect coins.
go to the vending machine and buy accordingly.
ay.
school continues......
and ends.
the clique strolls into 4joy, leaves their bags behind and disappear for the next 15 mins.
45 mins ltr everybody sits in class.
eve/min: QU NA LI!
no answer.
eve/min:qu na li!
still no answer.
sometimes they grab their bags and just leave. "wo men yao hui jia le"
this will always lead to a chain rxn.
everybody grab their bags and leave.
but we still have no idea of where to go.

no idea, lost, clueless or whatever.
sometimes i feel like the whole journey after o levels has been a dream.
one day when i wake up, i would see the blue and white uniform prepared instead of the brown one i see now.
things would be so much simpler.

so much.
simpler.

i went into ij with violent objections.
any way, i hated the school.
i hated everything that was happening.
i wanted anything but to get up every morning, to pull the brown cloth over me, and take the train all the way to woodlands.
i wanted anything than to face the subjects i disliked,
wanted anything than to face the teachers whom disliked me.
i wanted anything than to face people i've never hung out with.
i wld even have been willing to stay at home.
i never talked to my class.
during breaks and lunches i was everywhere but near my class.

until i got along with thurga.
my first friend who wasn't chinese made my life in innova so much better.
i still miss you, HORSEY! =/

i hardly ever went for bbal trainings willingly.
never ventured beyond thurga and my pae pals.

rachel was making a hell lot of noise during training one day.
she was one whom i never bothered to even say hi in school.
but no matter what the reason for her enthusiasium on that day was,
i was influenced by it.
for the following trainings, i went with frustration but rachel's enthusiasium always helped.
"can you say nicer things or not!"
"okay okay today i say nice things, you say nice things also. today shall be be-nice-to-rachel-day!"
"okay good, today can be be-nice-to-anet-day also."
there, the other reason for my so much better life in innova.

we usually went home tgt after trainings.
until, something cropped up.
"hey i'm sorry i left you alone to go home today, i'll treat you to tea someday k!"
"haha. dont be silly la, i'm alright :) as for you, i hope things got better? yup! but i'll still accept your tea anyway ><"

StudyTillAchieveResult Program wasnt sth i considered going for until i realised rachel was in it too.
just as well, because i soon realised we cld click, super well.

"hello! i'm bored."
was all it needed. :D

"cheer up buddy :) smile because there is someone who cares for you :)"
"Hahaa.okay sure sure.sorry eh.u dont too unhappy okay!cheerup.hahaa" (winnar this' ur msg! xD)
"No probs...i felt bad seeing u so sad...i guess it wil take time 4 u 2 gt over it...well,hope u are doin ok...:-)"
"you crazy ahh. liddat oso muz apologise. if i mind,i won't even talk to you. rembr i'm ur fren! (:"

sometimes i feel so super lucky :D
because, although there have been changes, very dramatic ones,
you REALLY never ever learn to treasure until you lose.
and, i guess, my vision is now clearer.

i miss, but i can't change.

so much.
simpler.

but ay,
nevermind la.

blocktest was totally screwed.
mum and dad are nice, and i guess, hold quite some hopes.
hafta first find a way to run from PTM,
and then, do sth abt my unmotivated life! zZz.

and you! i love you.
and nope, being tired is never the reason to stop.
at least, not for me!
i'll gladly wait :)
because ...
you can do cool chemistry!
- "if pabomb will have cool hair lik you!"
hahaha tell me what chemicals! xP LOL.

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

:) RULENO.1 IS SMILING AT ME :D
hahaha :D

lets go, Duchess.